Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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