nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
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