I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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