He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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