have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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