Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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