Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Randomize
