We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
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Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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