I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
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