i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
