oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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