I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
