Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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