Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Randomize
