About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
