Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
