K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
