Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
