I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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