dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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