Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Randomize
