Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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