P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
