Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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