like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
