Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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