We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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