More tranny stories later!
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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