a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
