Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
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