I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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