I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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