Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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