u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
