Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
