the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
