You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Enjoy the penises
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
