Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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