I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
