i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
