I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
