I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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