why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
