My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
