he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
