Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
