We got so high we made milksteak
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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