Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
