Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
