1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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