Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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