Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
