At least make sure they are 18
Why
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
