he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Randomize
