So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
We left the knife in your bed.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
