have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
