i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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