Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
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Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
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So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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