he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
