Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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